In the beginning of the year, which was January, I was really at peace with starting over and the good part of it was really admitting that my dignity was taken away from my self – esteem and confidence.
I did admit that I had given too much love and positive energy to those who didn’t deserve it and soon I had realized it I made a commitment to myself that I needed to appreciate myself more by giving myself every emotional, strength and peace.
I was neither ready to be in a relationship again only because I needed to choose myself over and over again. I needed to learn how to love myself more than any man could. Knowing that even if he tries to be selfish, egocentric and hurtful towards me then I know better that I do not have to retaliate but I would rather talk to God about it and by giving and living the best life I see worth living for myself where I can give myself the best return investment of happiness.
I am so happy to know that I am a work in progress by putting in the work to work on myself for myself by not putting my focus on who is hurting me, who is taking advantage of me or even me desiring someone else’s blessing because I would be setting myself back from a lot happy moments and blessings that are really meant for me that really happen when I focus on myself.
THINGS I AM LEARNING TO UNDERSTAND AS PART OF ADULTING.
- I am learning to appreciate my height, my petite figure, my beautiful big eyes, my nose and learning that my body will change from time to time and I need to take care of myself positively.
- I am learning to appreciate my strong, bold and sassy personality where at times I can be spicy, sexy and courageous with the normal and known personality to many individuals that I have a soft, smooth, verbal and emotional personality too. LOL I must admit that this is a funny and huge part to not take offense to what individuals prefer parts of who you are at this moment and who you are BECOMING because situations and days will differ from time to time.
- I am learning to appreciate to understand my self-esteem and confidence as a special attribute to unleash my courageous and soft personality which is not a way to make others feel small or intimidated but rather to learn how to take ownership of I am at different moments, experiences and phases when I am in love, frustrated, sad or happy. Which has taught me how to learn and unlearn to control positives and negatives emotions with no intention to not hurt others.
- I am learning to appreciate to understand my TIME with PROGRESS regarding having to start, maintain and complete my education at a specific time frame which has nothing to do with my intellectuality or intelligence. I am learning to appreciate that I do not have to have everything together from my career, having a desired beautiful house, a perfect man that has his finances together where we both looking to build a respectful loving family. I really understand that I really do not have control over timing and undesired unforeseen circumstances. But rather I really have control over how I put in the positive emotions and work knowing that I would have tried my best to make the best out of it at that specific moment in time and that is OKAY!
- I am really learning to understand what people think of me has really got nothing to do with me with how they feel or react at that specific moment to speak ill of me, treat me negatively and sideline me from opportunities to try and make me feel that I will not be a better and successful individual by not focusing on myself as I have learned that PRACTICE PRACTICE makes PERFECT no matter how long it takes to reach progress. How I choose to maintain different situations doesn’t have to either please myself or others because if others were put to be in my situations and shoes perhaps they would choose to handle things differently and “maybe” the outcome would be different from how I choose to maintain my confidence, progress, blessings, love life and happiness.
- I am really learning to understand that it is our own responsibility to write our own story, to set boundaries that will accord us to maintain peaceful, meaningful and loving experiences we write everyday with different people to try our best not to take offense to how people choose to think of us without taking the time to learn and understand their story of where they came from where they are currently at and where they are going in their endeavours.